The End

Unfortunately for me, my blogging “career” is shortlived. This will sadly be my last blog entry. However, by the end of March my video documentary will be posted to this website!

I must say, this has certainly been a different experience. I am, in a way, glad that Dr. Strangelove gave us this project for it gave me a new way to interact with  the Internet. I had never written a blog before and I am very glad that I had the opportunity to do so, even though I know my voice has not truly been heard in the world. (I am pretty sure my hit count is under 20. Oh well.) At least if I ever wish to write a blog again, I know somewhat how it works and know what to be expecting. Maybe someday I will turn out to be a professional blogger. Either way, thank you Dr. Strangelove.

Also, to anybody who is wondering, I am also retiring katiej from the online dating scene. I don’t quite think I am ready to fully integrate myself into that community, even though I now know plenty of information concerning what to expect and what to look out for. So, goodbye to katiej, with over 50 messages in her Plenty of Fish inbox (many of them creepy). Clearly, there is a large population out there in the world who are looking for love (among other things!). So ladies, you know where to look.

So did cyber-Juliet ever find her cyber-Romeo? Well, maybe not, but I know now that it definitely can happen!

Thank you for reading! Adieu!

Wherefore Art Thou, Internet?

In Marshall McLuhan’s book, Laws of Media, he illustrates four questions with which to analyze the effect of media, in any form, on society. Together, these questions are called a tetrad of media effects. I will attempt to identify the effects of the Internet with my own analysis and with the help of an article by Stuart Moulthrop of the University of Texas at Austin. I will also attempt to explain how Internet dating can play a part in the tetrad as well.

Firstly, what does the Internet enhance? According to class lectures, as mentioned in previous posts, the Internet enhances the right to freedom of speech and democracy, for everyone is permitted and have the opportunity to participate in the production of content on the Internet. Moulthrop (1991) elaborates that “users do not passively rehearse or receive discourse, they explore and construct links,” enhancing the participatory aspect of the Internet.

In terms of online dating, the Internet enhances interpersonal communication and greater connection, especially between individuals separated geographically by great distances. Internet dating also enhances time, for many of the individuals using online dating noted that the reason they turned to it was because they are too busy to meet potential partners at regular social functions. Therefore, because of Internet dating, individuals do not have to take up much of their already restricted time to meet others; instead they can scroll through hundreds of pictures of other users that may pique their interests.

Second, what does the Internet make obsolete? It certainly obsolesces the typical media and social structure of downward communication from  the elite class in order to influence the ideology and beliefs of the masses (referring to this morning’s lecture). Instead, the masses are capable of producing their own content, and making comments that have the potential to shape the ideology of the elite class. For example, the rally for support for Haiti that was organized through a Facebook group. The Internet also somewhat reduces the monopoly of information and communication that previously belonged uniquely to institutions and to the mass media, respectively. Moulthrop (1991) notes that the Internet may also make obsolete physical books, for we may be progressing towards purely electronic storage.

Internet dating has the potential to obsolesce other forms of real-time communication, such as the telephone. As demonstrated in my interview with Sarah, she never spoke with her fiance over the telephone before they met in person. Online dating also makes obsolete distance itself, for geography is no longer a deciding factor inwho an individual has the opportunity of meeting. I could easily meet someone in Edmonton over online dating with whom I would have never had the opportunity to communicate before. Internet dating also makes obsolete traditional social forms of courtship, such as meeting face-to-face first.

Third, what does the Internet retrieve that had been obsolesced earlier? Certainly, the Internet brings back a greater sense of connectedness and community, like McLuhan’s idealized vision of a tribalized state of man. The Internet also brings back true democracy, where all individuals are permitted to participate in political discussions and debates, instead of having decisions made for us by institutions.

I do not believe that there are many things in terms of courtship behaviour that the Internet has retrieved. Although, perhaps it brings back a reminder of the time of love letters. Like in the past, where individuals were waiting at home, hoping to receive a letter from their lover, perhaps Internet dating allows the same type of anticipation in waiting for an email.

Finally, what does the media flip into when pushed to extremes? I find that the Internet has the potential to either reduce almost entirely the controlling influence of institutions, or it may become more controlled. As stated earlier, because of the participation of the masses, institutions may lose their dominant voice. However, they may also reduce their focus on other mediums and attempt to regain control of the Internet. Moulthrop notes that there is a possibility that the Internet may be “becoming every bit as institutionalized and conservative as broadcast networks”. Certainly in terms of advertising, I believe that the Internet will soon become the main target of advertisers. Although it originated as a medium promised to be sans advertising, the television medium is already beginning to lose revenue that was mainly gained through advertising.

In consideration of Internet dating, perhaps individuals could lose sight of their initial goal of meeting a partner. A dependence on the medium could potentially impede people to venture into face-to-face communications meetings, which are actually their goal.

No matter if you agree with my analysis of the effects of the Internet or not, I am sure we can all agree that the Internet has a pr0found impact on society, whatever others may perceive the effects of that impact to be.

Fight or Flight

After my last post,  I’m sure some of us (including myself) were wondering who in their right minds would subscribe to anything that has such potential risks. However, there are some out there who fought the fear. I was talking with a friend of mine a few weeks ago, and she informed me that her cousin is in the midst of planning her wedding. And she had met her fiance on an online dating website! I figured it would be a great opportunity to talk with someone who has experienced online dating first hand, and who has a true success story. I sent her an email with some questions I had, and I am going to share them with you now. She simply requested that for her own privacy purposes, her name not be included in the interview, so we’ll call her Sarah. The following is from an email interview from January 20th.

Erin: How old are you? How old were you when you signed up for online dating?

Sarah: I am 27 now, I was 25 when I signed up for online dating.

E: When did you sign up for Internet dating?

S: January 15, 2008

E: What motivated you to register?

S: I had recently gotten out of a bad relationship (the month earlier), and I was sick and tired of getting “taken” advantage of. I also spent all my time at my place of employment or doing thigns that were tied to work in some way. I live in a smaller community, and I didn’t believe that meeting someone in a “bar” was something that would forge a lasting relationship. I felt that I could be elusive online, protect my identity and by extension my heart until the time I felt like that person was being genuine that I wanted to take the extra leap of faith. Also, some of my friends encouraged me to register based on past Internet dating experiences.

E: What site(s) did you register with?

S: LavaLife, and only that one. I also paid for a three month subscription which gave me  a different level of access to the website. I registered only with Lavalife because I wanted a pay subscription site hoping that people were on there for the “right” reasons (they were serious about having a relationship).

E: How long did it take you to find the person you are now with?

S: He was the only person I actually physically met online. I spoke with four or five others during that time, but I found him first, and finally messaged him no January 22nd, 2008 (This Friday is our two year anniversary of our meeting).

E: How long did you communicate online/by telephone before you met face to face?

S: We never spoke by telephone prior to meeting. We first started speaking using the Lavalife message system. We then found that it was easier to communicate over MSN. We spoke back and forth online for hours at a time, finally meeting on February 9th, 2008. He came to me.

E: How long did you date before you decided to get married?

S: We dated for almost a year and a half before he asked me to marry him. He proposed in early July 2009.

E: At what point in the relationship did you realize you wanted to marry this person?

S: I knew by May 2008. We talked about it almost a year in advance of when he proposed.

E: Would you say that Internet dating is a successful way to meet people? Why?

S: Yes I do! I think as long as you are careful in searching out a potential mate, and that you are a bit flexible.

E: Did you find any negative aspects to Internet dating? What were they?

S: I didn’t post a picture of myself, ( in order to protect my job), but I found that people would pass by my profile because they based everything on looks to begin with. My fiance has even admitted that he never would have clicked on my name. I did however,allow people I approved to view my picture, and he was the only one I allowed.

E: Would you recommend Internet dating to anyone?

S: I would recommend it and I have recommended it to friends whose careers take up a lot of their time or those  who live in a smaller community where the opportunity to meet people isn’t as great.

Sarah also mentioned in the same email that registering for online dating has been the best and the scariest thing thing she had ever done in her life. Also, Sarah’s fiance had been in the same boat as she was, for they both worked long hours, and had recently moved to new communities without their family and friends present. Both of their families supported their online meeting, and Sarah even noted that her fiance’s father helped him create his profile! According to Sarah, “Meeting people online is the equivalent to meeting people in a bar twenty years ago. Society is wired and technology hungry, so why not use that tool to your advantage?”

I find that this is a truly interesting perspective. Evidently, not all online dating experiences will be as successful as this one. However, Sarah certainly was aware of the risks of online dating, and faced those dangers head on in the hopes of finding the one. Clearly, if you have enough faith and confidence in yourself, and if you are intelligent and cautious about your decisions to reveal information, Internet dating is a unique and viable option.

Risky Business

Much of the research that I have found thus far on Internet dating has been either simply statistics about users, or mainly positive reviews about Internet dating, listing its numerous advantages. I finally discovered, however, an article that goes into more detail concerning some of the dangers of Internet dating. Angeline Close and George Zinkhan of the University of Georgia conducted a study in 2004 of a select group of college students in the United States about their experiences of Internet dating.

Clearly, there were some positive elements of the article. For example, it was noted that online dating not only helps to create new relationships, but it strengthens existing relationships when individuals are perhaps separated geographically. Also, the efficiency of Internet dating was developed, with mention that it is efficient because many sites already provide matches for individuals, and it is quite simple to scan through hundreds of pictures in a short period of time. Close and Zinkhan (2004) also noted that participants of their study mentioned they enjoyed the familiarity of their own home, what they called a “sacred place,” while online dating, for it allowed them to relax and be comfortable.

I appreciate this article, for it does not provide a biased depiction of online dating; it lists both the pros and the cons, and does not leave out crucial information about the potential risks that people considering joining online dating should be aware of. Firstly, and probably the least threatening and dangerous con to online dating is, according to Close and Zinkham’s study (2004) is a lesser intimacy in comparison to face-to-face interactions. They noted that “Where traditional, offline relationships assume some physical proximity, relationships formed online are often entered into with the understanding of the limited potential for physical contact” (Close et al. 2004). I believe that although online communication may offer greater opportunity for individuals to communicate, especially when there are time constraints on the amount of free time an individual has to meet others, interaction with someone in the flesh is certainly warmer and more intimate than communicating over a screen.

Another more harmful risk of online dating is how easy it is to lie to others. I know that I am doing it right now on my online dating page. I am definitely not 24 years old. Or named Katie James. In other previous articles that I have read, this simplicity of deception is emphasized as well. Close and Zinkan note that people could post a photo that is not actually an image of themselves and they can pretend they are interested in a certain group of individuals when they truly have no interest. For example, these scholars noted one particular individual in their study who “pretend[ed he was] interested in ‘ugly chicks.’ [He pursued] this prank with flattering e-mails to the girls, with no intentions of sincere communication” (Close et al. 2004). Easy deception is truly dangerous for some who are intently searching for somebody to love.

One particular risk that Close and Zinkhan noted, which I had never conceived of before, takes place upon face-to-face encounters with individuals with whom you have been communicating. One pattern that reoccured with the respondents in this study, is that the respondents did not consider the person they were about to meet as a stranger, for they had been communicating for some time. Close and Zinkhan (2004) mention that “Individuals seem to know many personal facts [about the other individual]; however these “facts” are often misrepresentations”. One respondent in the study had actually encountered abusive men upon meeting them face-to-face.

Even though online dating certainly seems dangerous enough, there is another risk. When an individual signs up for online dating, their information is privy to anyone who accesses the website. This includes your location, name (if you include it) and picture. The information you post on your page is accessible to complete strangers, to anyone and everyone who wishes to look, and there is no way to control it. According to Close and Zinkham, identity theft was also mentioned by respondents as a concern.

Because the Internet is such a young mass medium, we still don’t know everything about it. There are no gatekeepers or “Internet police” to ensure that rules are followed, mainly because there are not very many rules that can be enforced. Therefore, there is always a risk when participating in the Internet, whether it is in joining an online dating website or not. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely not saying not to go on the Internet at all, or not to join online dating websites. I just think that it is crucial for people to know the potential risks they are exposing themselves to by online dating. Just be careful.

We All Make the Internet

In class last week Professor Strangelove emphasized the democratizing influence of the Internet. He mentioned in that class, and in previous ones, that the Internet pushes society towards greater openness and publicity. He also noted that the Internet provides access to previously limited information, such as medical advice. I thought of the example of WebMD, a website where you can diagnose your own medical problem through steps identifying location and symptoms. I do believe that this is a step towards shattering information monopolies, however I must admit, I would sooner trust my own personal doctor than the website. No matter, the wealth of information that is now accessible to anybody, leads to a more informed public, which, generally, implies a more involved public in society.

I began to wonder what else makes the Internet a more democratizing force, and began to do more profound research on the matter. Firstly, the Internet provides an abundance of communication options, whether it is direct-response, through chat, or with delayed-response, through email. Either way, according to Beth Simone Noveck (2000), the leader of President Obama’s Open Government Initiative, the Internet provides a dramatic “increase in interpersonal interaction, what has been called ‘the ecstasy of communication’”. She notes that “free communication is integral to the flourishing of a robust civil society” and therefore allows individuals “to participate vocally in their own governance” (Noveck 2000). Individuals are therefore, again, more capable of participation in their societies.

The Internet allows anybody and everybody to post information. According to scholars John Vivian and Peter Maurin (2007), “the Internet has been called a democratized mass medium because so many people create Internet content”. This is true of sites such as Wikipedia, where users are encouraged to contribute information to articles, and even create their own. This sometimes, however, creates concern about the accuracy of information posted. Vivian and Maurin (2007) also note that because the Internet is quite difficult to regulate and monitor, for there is an incredible amount of information posted, “traditional media gatekeepers [individuals who monitor and alter media messages] aren’t necessarily present to ensure accuracy”. This makes it difficult to trust information posted online.

The Internet is also a democracy of free expression, for anybody and everybody can post their thoughts and feelings about anything and everything. This is also facilitated by the easy anonymity that the Internet provides; individuals can hide their true identities incredibly easily. I have personally experienced this aspect of democratized Internet communication. When began reading the messages sent to me via Plenty Of Fish, I realized that on that website, and on many others, individuals are able to post anything they want. For example, one user named learn2share (who, I have been notified, has recently closed his account) asked if I was interesting in partaking in sexual activities with him. This was an extremely shocking request, especially since I had noted on my account that I was looking simply for “Dating” but it just demonstrates how easy it is to say anything, and ask for anything, when your true identity is not on the line.

I am a part of this Internet democracy. Without the access to production and the allowance of free expression, I would not be posting this right now. There are certainly some ups and downs to the democratizing factors of the Internet. However, it is still a young mass medium, and I predict that it is certainly here to stay.

Who’s There?

The other day, I suddenly became curious about who exactly uses online dating. What are the demographics of the average online dating user? Are men or women more commonly found on online dating websites? What majority of the population uses online dating? Questions like these were circling as I was conducting research on the ever-so-handy Google Scholar website. Luckily, I found an article which provided me with all the answers to these questions and more!

The article is called “Love Online: A Report on Digital Dating in Canada” (see “Documentary” page for reference). This article was written by sociologists Dr. Robert Brym and Dr. Rhonda Lenton of the University of Toronto and McMaster University, respectively. It was mainly based on studies conducted by MSN.ca and Statistics Canada concerning online dating. This article provided me with an incredible number of statistics, for it goes into great detail concerning the use of online dating.

So, who exactly are the highest users of online dating? The statistics are actually somewhat surprising, for I suspected slightly different results:

     Men are more likely than women to use online dating: 68.3% (versus 31.7% for women)

     People in their 30s are most likely to use online dating than any other age group: 33.8%

     Individuals who use online dating are well educated (have some college education or are college graduates): 53.5%

     Most people using online dating services are single: 80.2%

     Most people who use online dating are well-off financially (annual income of $20,000-$40,000): 34.7%

     Many people using online dating live in suburbs of a major city: 40.9%

It is also interesting to note that out of all Canadian online dating users, 39% reside in Ontario! Canada is also a giant market for online dating services, for according to this article, the potential for online dating users in Canada is 3.7-3.9 million people!

This article also provides interesting insight into topics that, I admit, I had never really considered before. For instance, it states that a virtual community, such as an online dating website, can be considered as an actual society. According to the article, “a society is a large, enduring network of social interaction that survives by accomplishing five main tasks: (1) preserving order, (2) producing and distributing goods and services, (3) teaching new members, (4) providing its members with a sense of purpose, and (5) replacing old members”.

Online dating websites certainly preserve order. There are certain procedures one must follow, such as filling out the new user forms. There are also certain codes and rules, such as no nude photos, inappropriate content, and no abusing other users.

Internet dating websites don’t necessarily “produce” goods and services, however they do supply a means for individuals to receive things they are looking for, for example, a boyfriend, a new friend, or even an intimate encounter. Online dating websites are like catalogues that individuals can flip through to pinpoint the exact person they are looking for, and then they are able to make contact, and perhaps receive the person in the end.

In terms of teaching new members, online dating websites provide forums for discussion in case users have questions. For instance, on Plenty of Fish, there is a section on the forum page entitled “PlentyOfFish help section” with subcategories such as “Technology and Computers” and “Plentyoffish site/suggestions/help”. Clearly, users are not on their own to learn how the system works.

Providing a sense of purpose is another aspect of online dating. An individual may be lonely or bored in their life, and online dating allows interpersonal communication with others, which wards off loneliness, and in this communication they get to learn new things about others, and perhaps even themselves. This certainly cannot be labelled boring.

In consideration of replacing old members, online dating websites, such as Plenty Of Fish, certainly do not need any help with that. Through advertising and, especially, word-of-mouth promotion, hundreds and hundreds of new users flock to these websites daily.

I guess technically, online dating services are a society in themselves, albeit quite unique societies, and this has all been permitted through the development of technology and new media. Crazy!

Taking the Plunge

Username: katiej

Age: 24

Location: Ottawa, ON

Gender: Female

Marital status: Single

Seeking a: Male

I am looking for: Dating

Yes, I did it. I held my breath and signed up for online dating last week. What better way to research online dating than actually take part in it (even if it’s not for real)? I believe this can be considered a strange type of ethnographic study. Let’s see how it goes.

I used the website Plenty of Fish, since I already have some information about it. My main goal in signing up for online dating was to see how websites like this make matches to other users, and how people can search for themselves for others.

After providing the basic information about “katiej,” as presented above, I was asked more specific questions such as, “Do you want children?,” “Do you have children?,” “Do you smoke/drink?,” and  my religious views. I am assuming that these answers are just basic questions about values, to help users find others that share their core values. I also had to note my height, body type and basic interests.

After that, there was a section where I had to describe myself, in terms of my hobbies, my goals and aspirations, what makes myself unique and the types of music in enjoy. I included much of what I would use to describe myself, with some added points, just to make katiej seem a little bit more interesting and stand out a little bit more. Following this section was a box in which I had to describe what would be my perfect first date.

There was a questionnaire next, called the Chemistry Predictor, which included forty questions about my personality and behaviour. For example:

Upon answering all of these questions, I was brought to a page where I found the answer to my question of how this website matches individuals:

The Plenty of Fish Compatibility Predictor (CP) measures five broad relationship variables that are each essential for building romantic relationships. People don’t need to score “high” on each of these characteristics to be in a fulfilling relationship. What’s important is how your profile interacts with the profile of a potential romantic partner — or what is commonly called “chemistry.” Based on decades of empirical research in the social sciences, the CP captures the five key ingredients that can determine whether or not two people have the “right” psychological chemistry. The relationship variables are: Self-Confidence, Family Orientation, Self-Control, Openness, Easygoingness (PlentyOfFish).

My responses to the previous forty questions calculated my score for the Compatibility Predictor. According to the website, I have high self-confidence, I respect family values, I do not have high self-control, I am quite open, and I am very easygoing. There are more detailed explanations, but unfortunately they would be too long (and perhaps too personal) to reveal here. It will be interesting to see how I am matched with others, and if these matches are actually accurate. Could I truly find my soul mate on this website if I were seriously looking?

I am still not quite sure how the entire website works; I do know that there are more personal questions in the Chemistry Predictor style that would refine my profile even more, to find more accurate matches (it will, according to the website, improve my chances by 230%). Upon my first few glances at the website, I can search for individuals based on age, sex, race, location and numerous other factors, or I can search based on personality matches, measured in percentages.

This will certainly be a new experience for me, and I will keep blogging about any new interesting anecdotes. So far, I already have 19 messages in my inbox! This is strange. But I guess I should embrace something new!

No, Seriously

As I have increasingly discovered, Internet dating is a real thing, a serious phenomenon, and something that certainly has many sociological and psychological scholars talking. Online dating has a definition, developed by numerous scholars, has thousands of articles written about it, and it has certainly piqued the curiosity of millions of individuals worldwide. Internet dating isn’t just a fad. It’s the real deal.

According to Nicola Doering (2002), a relationship is when two people have repeated communication with one another, when they remain in contact over a period of several occasions and get to know each other. A romantic relationship, more specifically, notes a strong personal bond between individuals, where there is a potential to develop into family relationships and openness to sexuality, and where passion, intimacy, and commitment play crucial parts in the relationship (2002).

I noticed in these definitions that there is no mention of what modes of communication the individuals would use to remain in touch and get to know each other. I also noticed that there is no specification in whether the communication needs to be synchronous or asynchronous. Therefore, one can note that a cyber-relationship is just as much a legitimate relationship as one developed over face to face communications, at least according to scholarly definitions.

Cyber-relationships are also extremely pervasive, whether we notice it or not. There are continuous commercials on television advocating specific online dating websites, like LavaLife. However, in the article by Nicola Doering, a professor at the Ilmenau University of Technology in Germany, statistics show that according to a telephone survey in 1995, 14% of US citizens who have access to the Internet, had stated they have made acquaintances online (2002).

Percentages are much higher, however, when considering the amount of individuals that have been indirectly affected by online dating. Marlene Maheu, founder of the online SelfhelpMagazine, conducted a study (1999) which noted that 70% of respondents in her study reported having experienced at least one case of online-romance in their immediate surroundings.

Doering’s article also notes that there are now specialists in dealing with online relationships. For example, there is now counseling literature specifically targeted at online relationships. Doering (2002) states that there are also online magazines that help to make sense of online relationships, such as “the Self-help and Psychology Magazine, the Friends and Lovers – Relationship Magazine, Cybergrrl, or the Love, Romance, and Relationships web site”. I looked at the Friends and Lovers webpage to see how it worked, and there are clearly thousands and thousands of entries, allowing the possibility to discuss any subject. Discussion groups and online self-help groups are also a possibility for those looking for assistance.

It is evident that cyber relationships are becoming a larger and more important part of society, since there are new professions centering on the subject, and individuals are seeking advice, and there are now resources to help find answers. Clearly, online dating is not a complete minority anymore.

And I am sorry for anyone who may have been hoping I would post some information about my experiences with online dating in the next post. I will try to find time to sign up as soon as possible.

Industry of the Rich and the Famous

 I have been looking at some of the Internet dating websites trying to figure out their popularity in terms of numbers and I stumbled upon an article in the New York Times about one in particular called Plenty of Fish (click here for article).

This article is all about the developer of the Internet dating website, Marcus Frind. Even though Frind only puts in approximately ten hours of work per week, he still manages to rake in a profit of $10 million dollars per year! This is an insane amount of money for the hours of work her logs. How does he do it?

Creator of the online dating website Plenty of Fish

Firstly, the program that Frind developed is virtually self-run. Frind has thus far hired only one employee, whose job is to provide “responses to complaints about possibly fraudulent identities and to subpoenas and search-warrant requests” (Stross 2008). Frind also has a laissez-faire attitude concerning the website, and is not interested in perfecting minor irritating aspects, such as distorted thumbnails of images (2008). This attitude must also save him hours of work per week in tweaking his program.

In order to ensure that all of the 50,000 photographs that are uploaded to POF daily are real people, and that they do not contain nudity, Frind’s managed away for his own customers to sort through them (2008). A software twist allows these willing individuals to take hours and hours of work off of Frind’s hands and save him great amounts of money. According to Frind, last year 120 volunteers sorted through 100,000 images each (2008)!  Frind states that POF has these willing volunteers for two reasons: because individuals simply like looking at pictures of others, and because of the gratitude of his customers towards the website. He notes that because the website is free of charge,so “lots of people feel like they want to give back to the site” (2008).

The sheer number of individuals that access this website make it a perfect target for adveritsing, which also rakes in considerable profit for Frind. According to the POF website there are 25,000 new customers every day! It is quite evident, considering the obscene amount of money that Frind makes annually and the great amount of customers subscribing to his website, that the online dating industry is an incredibly profitable one to be a part of!

I became curious about how the whole online dating system works after reading this article, and I therefore resolved to try it out myself. I have decided to join an Internet dating service – probably Plenty of Fish, since it sounds pretty interesting, My next post – hopefully – will include more specific details on my plan of action and maybe some insight on how Internet dating actually works.

Why, Oh Why?

I once again have found that I have been slightly biased with my preconcieved notions about Internet dating. I, as well as many others out there, probably assumed that people turn to online dating because they lack certain social skills, or suffer from extremely low self esteem.

Although these may be valid reasons for an individual to turn to Internet dating, in reality, the things that motivate people to subscribe to Internet dating go much deeper. Helene Lawson and Kira Leck, of the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford conducted a study which, among other things, explores the reasons that individuals may sign up for online dating.

Certainly, a major reason is companionship. Lawson and Leck (2006) state that lonely people who are dissatisfied with their relationships turn to the Internet for it allows an opportunity to meet many people in a short period of time and the individuals that they find online offer great social support. With the vast variety of online dating sites (or even chat rooms) that are targeted to specific individuals could allow for individuals looking for companionship to find a specific type of person that will meettheir needs. For example, there is the popular Jewish online dating website, JDate, for those seeking others with a religion in common.

According to these scholars, people also turn to Internet dating in order to find comfort after a life crisis (2006). In personal interviews with the participants of their study, they found that individuals perceived that friends and family have a tendency to prejudge and blame in the case of certain major events however, those subscribing to Internet communication sites can choose to reveal certain facts about their life crises and not others in order to avoid unfavourable judgement (2006). I find that this is a very interesting facet of online communication, for I had assumed that people online would be more judgemental, for their impressions of others are based on limited facts or pictures.

Another important motive for Internet dating ties in with the previous statement. The individuals who subscribe to Internet dating websites have control over their own self-presentation (2006). Because individuals create their own profiles, they have the control over the information they reveal or hide, and they can simply include flattering aspects of themselves. Some of the participants in the study even noted that they made additional profiles on dating websites, representing themselves as of the opposite sex (2006).

Individuals are also able to assert control over their communication environment in an online setting (2006). This could be especially applicable to the individuals who may be lacking social skills, or who do not fit to the societal norm of beauty. Their communication is mediated, and they therefore do not have to totally expose themselves to those they chat to (2006).

Finally, Internet dating provides individuals freedom from commitment and from stereotypical roles (2006). Internet dating websites can be used for simply “hooking up” instead of creating long-term relationships, and individuals are by no means limited to chatting with only one person at a time. Individuals are also granted freedom from stereotypical roles in that they can be whoever they choose to be (2006). For example, a woman who may be timid in real-life interactions can be as aggressive and assertive as she wishes over the Internet. In my opinion, there is a direct link between the possible anonymity of the Internet and the freedom from stereotypical gender roles.

After reading this article, I realized that people don’t only turn to the Internet for dating because they may not know how to behave in regular social interactions or because they perceive themselves as unattractive. The science of Internet dating is much more complex than that.